By Terry Wassink
When I was younger, I was very shy, the exact opposite of my outgoing twin sister. It was easy to sit back and let her talk and socialize, while I was the introverted, bookish one. Public speaking and martial arts have allowed me to come out of my shell. Now I hope to be a role model to the students I teach.I never would have guessed 20 years when I started my taekwondo training that I would someday be testing for my 4th Dan black belt. My taekwondo journey started innocently enough: the summer after I had started college, I felt very inadequate about going back to school alone at the University of Alabama. My dad dismissed my concerns as insignificant. Upon further discussions, he suggested that taking martial arts training over the summer was all I needed to feel more confident in myself which would allow me to return to college in the fall.
My first day of training at Dunedin Taekwondo Academy (an ATA school) was innocent enough. I learned a low block, front kick and middle punch. Coming home, I was overly cocky as most teenagers can be, and I challenged my dad to kick me, certainly I could now handle anything that he could throw at me. Of course, as he kicked low I couldn’t block and proclaimed “You have to kick higher!” He answered “I’m the attacker; I get to decide how I kick.” I realized I had much more to learn.
After achieving my goal of black belt as well as earning my degree from University of Tampa, my training floundered as I struggled once I had finally reached my black belt goal but hadn’t replaced my goals with any new goals. However after moving to
When I moved to Houston in October, 1995, my nephews actually played a large part in renewing my focus on taekwondo. My older nephew, Paul, had already started karate lessons but transferred to taekwondo training at Rogers’ Martial Arts when I started as an assistance teacher there.I learned so much at Rogers’ Martial Arts! I learned that taekwondo and martial arts training are not the same; that martial arts training is a way of life and not just a sport. I learned how much sacrifice a really great instructor makes for his students and how involved they become in their students lives. I also witnessed for the first time the politics of owning a school.
Moving to Georgia in 1999, I immediately searched for a new place to train and help teach. I missed my training immediately. I visited many taekwondo schools, but most only wanted me to sign long-term contracts or their Master instructors didn’t actually teach the classes. After much perseverance, I finally started helping at Eastside Taekwondo, though mainly in the adult classes.At the time, I was the same rank as the instructor, Mr. Fiek, so I became overly confident in my teaching abilities.
When my church, Johnson Ferry Baptist Church, opened their gymnasium in October, 2000, I started TLC Taekwondo in a small room above the gym.The issues that happened at Eastside Taekwondo in December, 2000 gave me my first view on how involved I needed to be in my students lives. I was approached by several parents formerly from Eastside who asked if I could teach their children that had nowhere to go when the Eastside program was shutdown. The continuity in their training was needed to allow them to forget and heal from their issues. How can you deny a request like that?
Of course, I quickly realized that I was totally unprepared for running a school by myself so I started looking for a new Master. Based on my previous experience of looking for a school when moving to Georgia, I knew this was not going to be easy. My experience at Eastside had allowed me to be in touch with a lot of Masters, but none impressed me more than Master William and Candy Lenix. It was especially nice to have a woman’s presence in martial arts and so I approached them in March of 2001 to be added to their organization. It has now been over 4 years and I know I could not have accomplished anything without their help and guidance.
Running a school has its own set of trials and rewards. As I become more involved in my students’ lives, following the examples of Master Rogers and Masters Lenix, my students teach me humility and patience. Whether it’s a couple of foster children that were abused by their parents or an autistic child that daily teaches me patience as I balance his special needs with that of the other children in the class and the standards for the belts he’s trying to achieve, I learn more every day. I also have the students that have such a natural talent and yet don’t put in the effort necessary to develop their talent, and the students that have little natural ability yet try so hard. Every time I have to make a testing list and weigh who will and won’t test, my heart reaches out to each student. Will I crush their spirit if they aren’t on the testing list? Are they ready for the testing and the standards we need to uphold? Also I’m always questioning my own teaching ability. Am I the right kind of example for the students, both as a Christian and a martial artist? With a weight problem of my own, how can I lecture the students on eating right and exercising? While balancing my own career and school, how do I lecture the students on balancing homework and martial arts training? I don’t know that I’m ever going to be able answer those questions but I hope as I mature in my own martial arts training, I make the best choices I can and provide the best example I possibly can for the students.
One of my favorite songs is Twila Paris’ “The Warrior is a Child”. It talks about “Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right but even winners can get wounded in the fight. People say that I’m amazing, strong beyond my years. But they don’t see inside of me, I’m hiding all the tears. . . They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down. They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around. I drop my sword and cry for just awhile; because deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child.”
This year has been a tough one for me. My dad was diagnosed with cancer, my aunt and uncle came close to a divorce, and I had to put my dog, Donny, to sleep. During that time, I have really questioned my devotion to running my own school and teaching martial arts. After all, what am I really contributing to my students? Selfishly, I wonder what I’m getting back in exchange for all my hard work and effort. During those times, I appreciate the added guidance the Lenix family gives me. It’s comforting knowing that I’m not the only one that has experienced these problems, and I can learn from them. Their patience with me while I’m going through my trials and tribulations only reinforces my desire to emulate them to my own students.
As I try to win the battles of teaching the children martial arts, I get wounded in the fight. I believe that God has guided me to Georgia and brought me to the Lenix’s because I needed someone that could see beyond the surface and to my heart for martial arts. Someone who I could go home to when wounded in the fight. Just as this warrior inside is really a child, I look to them for guidance and support when I flounder in my own strength. Whether its showing a soft side to my students instead of the tough exterior, or listening to a student late at night that has a tough time with bullies at school, or denying a student can test even if they will quit because of it, I have to pray that I have matured and developed some wisdom during my martial arts tenure and one day I will be able to guide another young black belt with false bravado to some maturity within their martial arts training.
So how do you reconcile that quiet, shy child with the examples of the brash student and teacher listed above? Actually the two are the same person: inside a quiet, shy person and outside a false bravado to cover up the insecurities lying just below the surface. My father once said that most people, when comparing my sister and me, see my sister as the sweet, outgoing sister while I was the tough, confrontation twin. However, he said that inside my sister was the tough, strong sister and I was the soft and vulnerable one. Of course, he was right (although my sister is a softy too!). Martial arts has taught me to be self-confident and believe in myself in my career and personal life, but it has allowed me to relate to my students by remembering the journey that I have traveled so far, and realizing how much further I can still strive on this path.